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Why Choose to Grieve?
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”  - Khalil Gibran


Francis Weller writes, "Grief has always been communal, always been shared and consequently has traditionally been regarded as a sacred process. Too often in modern times our grief becomes private, carrying an invisible mantle of shame forcing our sorrow underground, hidden from the eyes that would offer healing. We must restore the conversation we need to have concerning the place of grief in our lives. Each of us must undertake an apprenticeship with loss."

In these times we often don’t have access to a healthy communal space to express grief and sorrow.
We’re taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed, 
it should be done quickly and privately.

This leads us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.

When we don’t allow grief to move we’re left feeling heavy-hearted and alone.
This can lead to numbing grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation.
It also numbs us from the joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer.


When we choose to grieve:
We choose to feel both the joy and sorrow of life.
We choose the shared connection that each of us hold.
We choose to not be alone.
We choose to belong.
We choose to live fully.


What Do We Grieve?
 "It is a terrible source of grief in itself not to be able to grieve.” - Martin Prechtel

The grief we carry can show up in many different ways, often we find ourselves experiencing various forms of grief throughout our days and lives.  Francis Weller in his book "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" writes about the 5 Gates of Grief:

The 5 Gates of Grief 

First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.
● Losing someone or something we love
● Loss of those who depart this Earth before us; our parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends
● Loss of home, beloved animals, places you have loved
● Loss from illness or injury; treasured skills and capacities
● Loss of a life dream
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
● Places in ourselves never touched by love
● Places wrapped in shame and banished
● Places lived outside of compassion, warmth and welcome
● Parts that we hate in ourselves and hold in contempt and that we deny the healing power of community
● Outcast portions of our soul appearing as addictions, depression, anxiety and other symptoms calling for our attention.
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
● The losses of the world around us
● Daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures
● Sorrow for the Earth (not personal but shared and communal)
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Things we may never realize we have lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts
And so we carry:
● Unconscious disappointment
● Feelings of loneliness and aloneness
● Diminished experience of who we truly are
At the core of this grief is our longing to belong and longing to be longed for.
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us:
● Lost connection to land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, stories of their/our ancestors
● Sense of homelessness, orphaned between old and new worlds
● Experience of woundedness, loss and abandonment, where grief and shame are intermingled, residing in the psychic  history of our lineage
● Collective soul grief of abuses of millions

From the work of Francis Weller in his book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”

What Does A Grief Ritual Look Like?

This gathering is about sharing what is true for you, whether it’s tears, anger, numbness or fear.
It‘s about authenticity and connection.
There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.
We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.
This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.
All of you is welcome.

Over 3 days you’ll
share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.
be invited to speak and listen from the heart.
connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.
share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.


Grief Retreat Details
Space is limited to 25 people
This is an outdoor gathering, with space for car and tent camping on site. For those who do not want to camp, there are lodging accommodations approximately 5 minutes away. 
We will be gathering on private land in Eureka, CA (You will be given directions and more details on the weekend once you have been registered and sent payment)

COST OF RETREAT
$300 Payable Via Venmo


In order to officially register for the retreat, please fill out the google registration form and pay the full amount. 
Venmo @David-Lochtie (last 4 digits of phone# 9032) 
​You will receive a confirmation email once you have registered and completed payment

Refund Policy: There are no refunds. This policy helps to hold us all accountable and creates some protection for us as facilitators and organizers. If you are not able to attend for whatever reason after registering, you may find someone else to take your spot. The person that replaces you must also register and needs to be connected with our registration team at least 5 days prior to the retreat. In the 5 days leading up to the retreat our attention shifts away from managerial tasks and screen time to prepping for our in person time.