Community Grief Ritual & Retreat
Northern California
October 4th-6th
Retreat is Full
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Why Choose to Grieve?
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” - Khalil Gibran
Francis Weller writes, "Grief has always been communal, always been shared and consequently has traditionally been regarded as a sacred process. Too often in modern times our grief becomes private, carrying an invisible mantle of shame forcing our sorrow underground, hidden from the eyes that would offer healing. We must restore the conversation we need to have concerning the place of grief in our lives. Each of us must undertake an apprenticeship with loss."
In these times we often don’t have access to a healthy communal space to express grief and sorrow.
We’re taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed,
it should be done quickly and privately.
This leads us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.
When we don’t allow grief to move we’re left feeling heavy-hearted and alone.
This can lead to numbing grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation.
It also numbs us from the joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer.
We’re taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed,
it should be done quickly and privately.
This leads us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.
When we don’t allow grief to move we’re left feeling heavy-hearted and alone.
This can lead to numbing grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation.
It also numbs us from the joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer.
When we choose to grieve:
We choose to feel both the joy and sorrow of life.
We choose the shared connection that each of us hold.
We choose to not be alone.
We choose to belong.
We choose to live fully.
We choose the shared connection that each of us hold.
We choose to not be alone.
We choose to belong.
We choose to live fully.
What Do We Grieve?
"It is a terrible source of grief in itself not to be able to grieve.” - Martin Prechtel
The grief we carry can show up in many different ways, often we find ourselves experiencing various forms of grief throughout our days and lives. Francis Weller in his book "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" writes about the 5 Gates of Grief:
The 5 Gates of Grief
First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.
● Losing someone or something we love
● Loss of those who depart this Earth before us; our parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends
● Loss of home, beloved animals, places you have loved
● Loss from illness or injury; treasured skills and capacities
● Loss of a life dream
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
● Places in ourselves never touched by love
● Places wrapped in shame and banished
● Places lived outside of compassion, warmth and welcome
● Parts that we hate in ourselves and hold in contempt and that we deny the healing power of community
● Outcast portions of our soul appearing as addictions, depression, anxiety and other symptoms calling for our attention.
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
● The losses of the world around us
● Daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures
● Sorrow for the Earth (not personal but shared and communal)
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Things we may never realize we have lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts
And so we carry:
● Unconscious disappointment
● Feelings of loneliness and aloneness
● Diminished experience of who we truly are
At the core of this grief is our longing to belong and longing to be longed for.
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us:
● Lost connection to land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, stories of their/our ancestors
● Sense of homelessness, orphaned between old and new worlds
● Experience of woundedness, loss and abandonment, where grief and shame are intermingled, residing in the psychic history of our lineage
● Collective soul grief of abuses of millions
From the work of Francis Weller in his book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”
The 5 Gates of Grief
First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.
● Losing someone or something we love
● Loss of those who depart this Earth before us; our parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends
● Loss of home, beloved animals, places you have loved
● Loss from illness or injury; treasured skills and capacities
● Loss of a life dream
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
● Places in ourselves never touched by love
● Places wrapped in shame and banished
● Places lived outside of compassion, warmth and welcome
● Parts that we hate in ourselves and hold in contempt and that we deny the healing power of community
● Outcast portions of our soul appearing as addictions, depression, anxiety and other symptoms calling for our attention.
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
● The losses of the world around us
● Daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures
● Sorrow for the Earth (not personal but shared and communal)
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Things we may never realize we have lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts
And so we carry:
● Unconscious disappointment
● Feelings of loneliness and aloneness
● Diminished experience of who we truly are
At the core of this grief is our longing to belong and longing to be longed for.
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us:
● Lost connection to land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, stories of their/our ancestors
● Sense of homelessness, orphaned between old and new worlds
● Experience of woundedness, loss and abandonment, where grief and shame are intermingled, residing in the psychic history of our lineage
● Collective soul grief of abuses of millions
From the work of Francis Weller in his book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”
What Does A Grief Ritual Look Like?
This gathering is about sharing what is true for you, whether it’s tears, anger, numbness or fear.
It‘s about authenticity and connection.
There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.
We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.
This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.
All of you is welcome.
Over 3 days you’ll
share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.
be invited to speak and listen from the heart.
connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.
share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.
It‘s about authenticity and connection.
There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.
We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.
This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.
All of you is welcome.
Over 3 days you’ll
share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.
be invited to speak and listen from the heart.
connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.
share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.
Grief Retreat Details
Space is limited to 25 people
This is an outdoor gathering, with space for car and tent camping on site. For those who do not want to camp, there are lodging accommodations approximately 15 minutes away.
We will be gathering on private land in the foothills outside of Sacramento (You will be given directions and more details on the weekend once you have been registered and sent payment)
Cost for the Retreat is $400 with a $100 discount for those who have joined us in previous grief retreats. The cost of the retreat includes on-site camping and the majority of your meals for the weekend.
We also have limited space for those seeking financial assistance. Please reach out to me directly if you are in need of financial support.
In order to officially register for the retreat, please fill out the google registration form and pay the full amount.
Please send the registration fee via Venmo or PayPal
Venmo @Joshua-Lowe-22 (last 4 digits of phone# 1287)
Paypal Joshua Lowe@joshualowe1393
This is an outdoor gathering, with space for car and tent camping on site. For those who do not want to camp, there are lodging accommodations approximately 15 minutes away.
We will be gathering on private land in the foothills outside of Sacramento (You will be given directions and more details on the weekend once you have been registered and sent payment)
Cost for the Retreat is $400 with a $100 discount for those who have joined us in previous grief retreats. The cost of the retreat includes on-site camping and the majority of your meals for the weekend.
We also have limited space for those seeking financial assistance. Please reach out to me directly if you are in need of financial support.
In order to officially register for the retreat, please fill out the google registration form and pay the full amount.
Please send the registration fee via Venmo or PayPal
Venmo @Joshua-Lowe-22 (last 4 digits of phone# 1287)
Paypal Joshua Lowe@joshualowe1393
Who Are The Grief Retreat Guides?
Joshua Lowe is a licensed therapist (LMFT #105893 ), public educator, musician, and nature-oriented rites of passage and grief ceremony guide. He brings 20+ years experience supporting others in transformational journeying and has supported teens and adults in various communities including high school, men’s groups, nature, prisons, and in the therapy office.
Joshua has been mentored in leading grief rituals by Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole who are carriers of the grief rituals taught by Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some.
Joshua brings a deep reverence for the power of grief ritual as a healing force and is humbled by the opportunity to support others in deepening their relationship to self and community through honoring and expressing grief and joy.
Terry Wilson is a father, grandfather, small business owner and master facilitator of transformational healing. Terry brings over 25 years of experience supporting various communities in healing work. He has held leadership roles in numerous non-profit organizations, including The ManKind Project and supporting incarcerated men through the Inside Circle Foundation in Folsom Prison. Currently, Terry is the board chairman for The Center for Violence Free Relationships in Placerville, CA and facilitates weekly men’s and women’s batterers intervention programs called Positive Solutions at the center, which he co-created.
When speaking on the healing process, Terry says, "It all comes down to grief." Terry is honored to offer his heart and wisdom for this grief ritual and retreat.
When speaking on the healing process, Terry says, "It all comes down to grief." Terry is honored to offer his heart and wisdom for this grief ritual and retreat.
Joy Sprague has been holding safe spaces for people to access and process their grief for over fifteen years. As an end-of-life compassionate companion, she walks the threshold with others to bear witness to their own sacred grief journey. Her inclusive presence invites others into sacred grief ritual work to help cultivate grief and joy for a deeper connection and belonging.
She is honored to have trained in grief ritual facilitation with her mentors Theresé Charvet, Tere Caranza, and Laurence Cole. Her work is inspired by Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé, Francis Weller, Brother David Steindl-Rast, Martín Prechtel, and many more.
She is honored to have trained in grief ritual facilitation with her mentors Theresé Charvet, Tere Caranza, and Laurence Cole. Her work is inspired by Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé, Francis Weller, Brother David Steindl-Rast, Martín Prechtel, and many more.
August Materazzi has been involved in men's work since 2005, and has assisted many grief rituals in the Santa Cruz area, where he currently lives. August enjoys playing music, acting in Santa Cruz' thriving theater scene, frequent nature excursions, and exploring expanded consciousness. August is looking forward to welcoming your presence and offerings to this powerful weekend!