Grief & Gratitude Community Ritual
Nevada City, CA
Saturday December 14th 11am-7pm
Ritual is Full
Please Email [email protected]
To Join The Wait List
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Why Choose to Grieve?
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” - Khalil Gibran
Francis Weller writes, "Grief has always been communal, always been shared and consequently has traditionally been regarded as a sacred process. Too often in modern times our grief becomes private, carrying an invisible mantle of shame forcing our sorrow underground, hidden from the eyes that would offer healing. We must restore the conversation we need to have concerning the place of grief in our lives. Each of us must undertake an apprenticeship with loss."
Many of us living in these times do not have access to a healthy communal space to express grief and sorrow. As men, we are often taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed, it should be done quickly and privately. This conditioning and pathologizing leads most of us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.
When we choose to grieve we choose to acknowledge and embody all of life. When we do not allow grief to move through us or when we deny community support with our grief, we are often left feeling heavy-hearted and alone. This can often lead to numbing the grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation. Numbing from the sorrows of being human also numbs us from the deep joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer. When we choose to grieve we choose to feel both the joy and sorrow of life. And when we choose to grieve in community we choose to honor this shared connection that each of us hold and carry. We choose to not be alone. We choose to belong. We choose to live fully.
"In many traditional cultures throughout the world, the wholesome expression of grief arising from life’s inevitable sorrows and losses was known to be most effectively released in a communal setting. It was recognized that unexpressed grief could be toxic, leading to illness, depression, addiction, even damaging and violent behavior towards oneself or others. It also was known that through supporting one another, welcoming the many faces and forms of grieving, holding compassionate witness in a sacred ritual container, that a people could reweave the bonds of connection and belonging." (Laurence Cole)
Many of us living in these times do not have access to a healthy communal space to express grief and sorrow. As men, we are often taught that grief is something to be done only in extreme circumstances, and if grief is expressed, it should be done quickly and privately. This conditioning and pathologizing leads most of us to carry the burden of unprocessed and unwitnessed grief throughout our lives.
When we choose to grieve we choose to acknowledge and embody all of life. When we do not allow grief to move through us or when we deny community support with our grief, we are often left feeling heavy-hearted and alone. This can often lead to numbing the grief with distraction, addiction, or isolation. Numbing from the sorrows of being human also numbs us from the deep joy, wonder, and beauty that life has to offer. When we choose to grieve we choose to feel both the joy and sorrow of life. And when we choose to grieve in community we choose to honor this shared connection that each of us hold and carry. We choose to not be alone. We choose to belong. We choose to live fully.
"In many traditional cultures throughout the world, the wholesome expression of grief arising from life’s inevitable sorrows and losses was known to be most effectively released in a communal setting. It was recognized that unexpressed grief could be toxic, leading to illness, depression, addiction, even damaging and violent behavior towards oneself or others. It also was known that through supporting one another, welcoming the many faces and forms of grieving, holding compassionate witness in a sacred ritual container, that a people could reweave the bonds of connection and belonging." (Laurence Cole)
What Do We Grieve?
"It is a terrible source of grief in itself not to be able to grieve.” - Martin Prechtel
The grief we carry can show up in many different ways, often we find ourselves experiencing various forms of grief throughout our days and lives. Francis Weller in his book "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" writes about the 5 Gates of Grief:
The 5 Gates of Grief
First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.
● Losing someone or something we love
● Loss of those who depart this Earth before us; our parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends
● Loss of home, beloved animals, places you have loved
● Loss from illness or injury; treasured skills and capacities
● Loss of a life dream
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
● Places in ourselves never touched by love
● Places wrapped in shame and banished
● Places lived outside of compassion, warmth and welcome
● Parts that we hate in ourselves and hold in contempt and that we deny the healing power of community
● Outcast portions of our soul appearing as addictions, depression, anxiety and other symptoms calling for our attention.
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
● The losses of the world around us
● Daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures
● Sorrow for the Earth (not personal but shared and communal)
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Things we may never realize we have lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts
And so we carry:
● Unconscious disappointment
● Feelings of loneliness and aloneness
● Diminished experience of who we truly are
At the core of this grief is our longing to belong and longing to be longed for.
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us:
● Lost connection to land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, stories of their/our ancestors
● Sense of homelessness, orphaned between old and new worlds
● Experience of woundedness, loss and abandonment, where grief and shame are intermingled, residing in the psychic history of our lineage
● Collective soul grief of abuses of millions
From the work of Francis Weller in his book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”
First Gate: Everything we love we will lose.
● Losing someone or something we love
● Loss of those who depart this Earth before us; our parents, spouse, children, siblings, friends
● Loss of home, beloved animals, places you have loved
● Loss from illness or injury; treasured skills and capacities
● Loss of a life dream
Second Gate: The Places that have not known love
● Places in ourselves never touched by love
● Places wrapped in shame and banished
● Places lived outside of compassion, warmth and welcome
● Parts that we hate in ourselves and hold in contempt and that we deny the healing power of community
● Outcast portions of our soul appearing as addictions, depression, anxiety and other symptoms calling for our attention.
Third Gate: The Sorrows of the World
● The losses of the world around us
● Daily diminishment of species, habitats and cultures
● Sorrow for the Earth (not personal but shared and communal)
Fourth Gate: What we expected and did not receive
Things we may never realize we have lost, because we weren’t born into a village with full joyous welcome of our gifts
And so we carry:
● Unconscious disappointment
● Feelings of loneliness and aloneness
● Diminished experience of who we truly are
At the core of this grief is our longing to belong and longing to be longed for.
Fifth Gate: Ancestral Grief
Unacknowledged and untended sorrow of those who came before us:
● Lost connection to land, language, imagination, rituals, songs, stories of their/our ancestors
● Sense of homelessness, orphaned between old and new worlds
● Experience of woundedness, loss and abandonment, where grief and shame are intermingled, residing in the psychic history of our lineage
● Collective soul grief of abuses of millions
From the work of Francis Weller in his book “The Wild Edge of Sorrow”
What Does A Grief Ritual Look Like?
This gathering is about sharing what is true for you, whether it’s tears, anger, numbness or fear.
It's about authenticity and connection.
There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.
We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.
This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.
All of you is welcome.
In Our Time Together
we will share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.
be invited to speak and listen from the heart.
connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.
share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.
It's about authenticity and connection.
There’s no expectation that you express your grief in any specific way. It’s not designed to “fix or process” you.
We’re hear to listen and express gratitude and share your feelings and experience.
This isn’t a depressing event, it’s a joyful, life affirming one.
All of you is welcome.
In Our Time Together
we will share, witness, and honor our grief and our joy.
be invited to speak and listen from the heart.
connect to the natural world, other people, and with yourself.
share in simple rituals that honor the fullness and wholeness of life.
Grief & Gratitude Ritual Details
Space is limited to 12 people
We will be gathering at a private residence in Nevada City from 11am till 7pm.
Cost is $225
We have limited space for those seeking financial assistance. Please reach out to me directly if you are in need of financial support.
In order to officially register for the retreat, please fill out the google registration form and pay the full amount.
Please send the registration fee via Venmo or PayPal
Venmo @Joshua-Lowe-22 (last 4 digits of phone# 1287)
Paypal Joshua Lowe@joshualowe1393
We will be gathering at a private residence in Nevada City from 11am till 7pm.
Cost is $225
We have limited space for those seeking financial assistance. Please reach out to me directly if you are in need of financial support.
In order to officially register for the retreat, please fill out the google registration form and pay the full amount.
Please send the registration fee via Venmo or PayPal
Venmo @Joshua-Lowe-22 (last 4 digits of phone# 1287)
Paypal Joshua Lowe@joshualowe1393
Who Are The Grief Retreat Guides?
Joshua Lowe is a licensed therapist (LMFT #105893 ), public educator, musician, and nature-oriented rites of passage and grief ceremony guide. He brings 20+ years experience supporting others in transformational journeying and has supported teens and adults in various communities including high school, men’s groups, nature, prisons, and in the therapy office.
Joshua has been mentored in leading grief rituals by Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole who are carriers of the grief rituals taught by Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some.
Joshua brings a deep reverence for the power of grief ritual as a healing force and is humbled by the opportunity to support others in deepening their relationship to self and community through honoring and expressing grief and joy.
Joshua has been mentored in leading grief rituals by Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole who are carriers of the grief rituals taught by Sobonfu Some and Malidoma Some.
Joshua brings a deep reverence for the power of grief ritual as a healing force and is humbled by the opportunity to support others in deepening their relationship to self and community through honoring and expressing grief and joy.
Marilyn Hunt is a licensed therapist (#50088) and certified IFS therapist who believes that grieving in community is foundational for healthy living. Having lost her brother to suicide at 14, her father to cancer at 24 and mother to a stoke at 32, she found few people who knew how to walk alongside her when the world turned upside down. Her grief invited her into a transformational growth process over 25 years ago which led her to become a therapist so she could accompany others during their dark nights of the soul.
While reading Francis Weiler’s the Wild Edge of Sorrow she immediately felt the need to find a grief ritual. Finding ritual so powerful, she sought mentoring from Francis Weiler, Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole so that she could help facilitate these healing spaces with others. She feels honored to go to the depths of the human experience alongside people and celebrate the joys that come with meeting ourselves and one another authentically.
www.marilynhuntlmft.com
While reading Francis Weiler’s the Wild Edge of Sorrow she immediately felt the need to find a grief ritual. Finding ritual so powerful, she sought mentoring from Francis Weiler, Therese Charvet and Laurence Cole so that she could help facilitate these healing spaces with others. She feels honored to go to the depths of the human experience alongside people and celebrate the joys that come with meeting ourselves and one another authentically.
www.marilynhuntlmft.com
For nearly 20-years Eric Young has embodied a service oriented life. He loves co-creating events intertwining music, art, technology, and spirituality. Eric feels humbled to learn from Joshua Lowe and his mentors in tending Grief Rituals. His intention is to offer compassionate care and authentic courage while stewarding the land and spiritual space. Eric looks forward to meeting you and sharing time together.